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14 November 2009

Mia Petalouda gia Sena

Kardoula geia sou,

EmaJa me pollh luph apo ena prosjato email tou Giannh
oti h Mhtera sou htan polu arrwsth
ki apo keinh th stigmh den ecei perasei xupnhth mera
h wra pou h skeyh mou na mhn einai scedon monima
mazi sou para ta parallhla anamikta kai xajnika nea
pou maV bhkan ki emaV.

Nohtikh sumparastash mia kai xerw oti ecoume mia megalh
sundesh se nohtika kai eJairia pedia.
Egw se niwJw konta mou polu sucna kai einai mia sundesh
pou sunbainei me ta polu kontina mou atoma, alla
paraxeno...oci me ola ta kontina h agaphta mou atoma,
m esena omwV einai scedon sa nacw thleorash mesa sto kejali mou.

Den eica megalh amjibolia gia to oti iswV piJana
auto htan to teloV kai to ti wreV sigoura pernaV
gia deuterh jora...

Katalabainw ti eceiV perasei, oci mono me ton aJerapeuto
pono tou camou alla kai tiV apiJana odunhreV stigmeV
apelpisiaV na blepeiV ena agaphmeno proswpo na upojerei kai na mhn mporeiV na kaneiV tipota.

Pisteuw auto einai polu pio odunhro, giati to camo
ton upojeroume monoi alla auteV tiV stigmeV tiV pername
cwriV na mporoume na tiV moirastoume pragmatika
kai cwriV na ecoume th dunatothta na bohJhsoume
h na elajrunoume to agaphmeno maV atomo,
ki auteV oi anamnhseiV menoun mesa maV panta kauteV.

Den hmouna ekei na zhsw tetoieV stigmeV oute tou patera
oute thV mannaV mou -tucerh? den xerw! iswV apo kapoia apoyh-ecoun omwV parameinei mesa mou zwntaneV plhgeV
pou den mporw n aggixw cwriV aperigrapto pono:
H mia to teleutaio thlejwnhma me ton patera pou ton rwthsa *Giati yiJurizeiV? koimatai h Kaith?*
hxera oti to thlejwno htan sthn krebatokamara kai upeJesa oti phra akatallhlh wra.
H apanthsh tou htan;
* Oci, ... den ecw th dunamh na milhsw pio dunata...*
Auth h anamnhsh ecei meinei mesa mou, olozwntana...
teleutaia epishV xerw apo prwto ceri empeiriaV
ti akribwV shmainei epeidh mou sumbainei ki emena to idio.

H allh kauth anamnhsh htan thV mannaV,
milousame kai xajnika h jwnh thV espase se klamma legontaV mou:
* den ecw bgei exw edw ki exi? mhneV twra... oute sth beranta den mporw*
kai argotera sto teleutaio thlejwnhma to krummeno antio:
* mh stenocwriesai egw thn ezhsa th zwh mou..*
den Jumamai tipot allo o nouV ekleise ekei ki apoJanathse katipou den hJele n akousei alla pou dustucwV akouei periodika pali kai pali kai pali...mecri to teloV...

Posa JaceiV twra na paleyeiV kardoula mou,
mono o JeoV xerei ki eucomai na se bohJaei mera kai nucta n antepexelJeiV kai na xeperaseiV!...

Ena mono einai parhgorhtiko, pou xereiV oti alliwV Ja exakolouJouse na upojerei cwriV kammia beltiwsh ki auto den Ja htan kalo gia kanena.

Qa parei crono na epanelJeiV siga siga se mia kaJhmerinothta alla den creaizetai biasunh,
me biasunh kai apojugh den mporei na epelJei
mia kapwV scetikh ojelimh Jerapeia auto pou leme
*o cronoV ta giatreuei ola*

Makari natan alhJeia...

An briskeiV oti apascolhsh me to magazi ecei Jetikh epidrash tote giati oci...

Kardoula, mhn pisteueiV oti einai apraithto
n akolouJhsoun ki alla dusaresta opwV leV:

Den einai oute aparaithto oute nomoV!
Auto sumbainei giati otan kati shmantiko sumbei,
maV ctupaei se polla merh tou jusikonohtikou maV susthmatoV kai aupnia, ajageia, Jliyh, katareoun kai adunamoun to nosopoihtiko(?)/amuntiko maV susthma, klp kai epishV Jolwnoun to nou kai thn krish, kai se sundiasmo me kapoia uposuneidhth anagkh/tash gia ekjrash kai exwterikeush tou ponou, telika eite elkioun
h dhmiourgoun katastaseiV pou pane straba kai ceirotereuoun ta pragmata.
Auto pisteuw einai olo, kai o kalliteroV tropoV na apotrapoun einai xekourash, prosectikh diaita, upnoV, hremia kai analogismoV twn sumbantwn klp, alla xerw polloi ligoi kanoume oti einai swsto, apaitoumeno kai creiazomeno.
SunhJwV trecoume apelismena na apojugoume
kai etsi dhmiougoume aJelhta thn alusida twn *akolouJoumenwn gegonotwn* etsi pisteuw...

ProspaJhse na ta apojhgeiV loipon oso kallitera mporeiV!

Ta dika maV ta nea pou sunebhkan kapwV parallhla.
Arcisan me to eucaristo neo oti Canna Maria einai
4 mhnwn me to deutero...
Duo mereV meta ap auto to neo akolouJhse autokinhtistiko
atuchma thV IzaV!... to autokinhto scedon poltoV ki ekeinh me kapoia eutucwV mhdamhna traumata...
Otan eida th jwtograjia tou trakarismenou autokinhtou epaJa tetoio sok pou apo keinh th stigmh kai mecri twra pou sou grajw mou ecei dhmiourghsei meronucta sunechV kai epikinduna megalhV posothtaV aimorragiaV kai ponou. To sthJoV mou einai anammenh plhgh, ki einai akoma adunato na koimhJw sto krebbati mou pou einai eidiko hlektiko me uperuywsh proskejalou, san tou nosokomeiou.
NucteV twra th bgazw sthn poluJrona me aupnia, dusjoria kai pono san anameno karbouno...aima polu aima...tromerh adunamia opwV prin merikouV mhneV
kai kaJe bradi jobamai iswV to teleutaio.

TeloV pantwn, ekeinh einai kallitera twra -an kai pairnei crono na gianei kai swmatika kai sunaisJhmatika- alla h zwh sunecizetai kai prepei na epistreyei sth douleia meta apo duo bdomadeV adeiaV logw atuchmatoV.

Prin na kalosunelJoume ap auta ta nea,
an ki emena Ja mou parei polu crono na xanastaJw sta podia mou,epiprosJeta Jlibera nea, h anhyia tou Mperni pou perimene mera th mera na gennhsei, ecase to mwraki thV mono treiV bdomadeV prin thn anamenomenh hmeromhnia.

Tosa polla, tosa polla.......... mia stigmh kai h zwh mporei n allaxei gia panta, alla den maV menei para na kanoume kouragio kai na koitame proV to mellon oso kai anelpisto mporei na jainetai.

Kardoula, einai h Giorth sou se merikeV mereV alla den xerw ti euceV na steilw.
To penJoV prosjato einai jusiko na ricnei skia se opoia eortastikh diaJesh kai to katalabainw...
Esu me th jugh sou kaJe Pasca ki egw tocw xegrayei teleiwtika kai Cristougenna scedon nekra mesa mou,
panta mou Jumizoun ta teleutaia thV MannaV,
to idio kai se katalabainw...

H Skeyh omwV kai h Agaph mou einai mazi sou, konta,
polu konta sou!

Oi EuceV mou einai gia Zwh, Yucikh Galhnh
kai Qerapeia apo ton pono.

Sou stelnw loipon mia Petalouda ...san sumbolo
thV AgaphmenhV YuchV pou moliV ejuge apo th zwh sou,
alla pou Ja einai panta konta sou,
alla ki epishV NeaV ZwhV, ElpidaV ki AnagennhshV
Mesa Sou giati h zwh sunecizetai kai ecoume creoV
na th zhsoume san ena duskolo alla polutimo Dwro,
pou mesa tou zoume, peJainoume, xanagenniomaste
kai sunecwV maJainoume...


............QermeV mou EuceV

..................... gia




Photobucket


...... Agaph Zwh kai Ugeia!

... Me th Skeyh mou konta sou kai QermeV agkalieV!

.................. (Xerw poso tiV creiazesai)

......... H dikh mou mikrh petalouda konta sou ! Photobucket

.....

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